The Awful Truth

Find Clinton a Job

CLINTON NEEDS A JOB IN 2001, WE GET HIM ONE OF THE 20,000,000: Bill Clinton will be out of a job next year. We try to get him one of the 20 million jobs he's claimed to have "created". Part time, no benefits, low pay - a cherished spot in America's "new economy". THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON: There are huge swaths of the United States in which women can not exercise their right to choose an abortion because the right to life groups have scared all of the doctors who will perform that procedure out of the county/state/city/etc. It's the first time in the history of the Republic that terrorist tactics have worked to force a change (in fact, if not in law) in public policy. Michael goes to the Pro-life groups and surrenders the pro-choice movement, then "celebrates" the pro-life victory with a victory ticker tape parade. SUSSEX COUNTY, VA: One of the 10 fastest growing communities in the country, according to the US Census Bureau. But people aren't moving to Sussex County, prisoners are. The County's growth can almost entirely be attributed to two huge new prisons that have been constructed there in the past 10 years. Karen Duffy goes to Sussex County to investigate the future of American Population Growth.